I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
