I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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