i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
