You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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