Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
