due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
