guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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