Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
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Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
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