Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize