He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
