I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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