I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
