Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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