am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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