This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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