how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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