One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i came on her dog
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.