Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.