I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great