the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.