great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting