In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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