i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The adults are the big ones right?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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