Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
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Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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