They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance