Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
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Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.