is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.