Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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