Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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