I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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