she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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