Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
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Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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