I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize