i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
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Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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