Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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