Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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