New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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