Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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