idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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