just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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