You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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