We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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