Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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