i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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