I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
