Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize