I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
