why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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