Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I met the friendliest cop last night
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize