Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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