sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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