a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
