Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
