after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
