I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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