you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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